Episode 7 - Pairs Well With...Uninhibited Joy: Off-Stage With Mary Ryan Brown

A porch story can change your life. That’s the energy Mary Ryan Brown brings as we explore how Southern culture, girlhood expectations, and the pressure of being “gifted” fuel comedy that heals. She grew up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, steeped in cadence, gossip, and theater, and she pairs that with a literary lens that shapes jokes like short stories. From Jerry Clower to Flannery O’Connor, her references aren’t just clever—they’re the scaffolding for an hour designed to feel like a pickle shot: the burn, then the rush, and the strange relief of being seen.

We talk about the season that cracked everything open: postpartum depression. Those sleepless nights became a workshop, with specials paused and transcribed beat by beat until timing made sense again. When she finally stepped onto an open mic, preparation met chaos, and a community voice began to emerge. The Southern Mom persona didn’t appear out of nowhere; it arrived from GroupMe threads, church parking lots, monogrammed backpacks, and china patterns that signal class and comfort. It’s specific and a little dangerous—humor as a Trojan horse for cultural truth, delivered with affection and bite.

 Mary Ryan ties her audacity to family legacy. Her grandmother, Dr. Frances Karnes, pioneered gifted education and modeled the courage to ask for what doesn’t exist. That spirit informs the grind: showing up, writing better, accepting that the audience owes you nothing while you owe them resonance. We trace peaks and valleys, faith and fear, New York dreams and small-town logistics, and the launch of her new tour in 2026. If you love stand-up, Southern storytelling, reinvention, authenticity, and the weird alchemy where laughter turns into courage, you’ll find a lot to savor here. 

For all  things Mary Ryan Brown - including her tour schedule - visit her website: https://www.maryryanbrown.com/

 You can also find her on Instagram: @maryryanbrown.

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The content of this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Although your hosts are attorneys, Pairs Well With… does not provide legal, medical, financial, or professional advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship. Always seek the advice of qualified professionals regarding any specific questions or concerns you may have.

Transcript

Introducing Mary Ryan Brown

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Today's guest has the rare ability to take Southern culture, girlhood expectations, burnout, reinvention, postpartum confusion, and the bizarre pressure of being a gifted kid and turn it all into comedy that feels both comforting and a little too true. Mary Ryan Brown grew up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and her southern roots shape everything from her timing to her characters. She also comes from a remarkable lineage. Her grandmother, the late Frances Carnes, was a nationally recognized pioneer in gifted education. That influence shaped not only Mary Ryan's childhood, but also the emotional fuel behind much of her storytelling. She's lived several versions of herself.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Student, performer, mother, and after the birth of a daughter, she experienced postpartum depression that shifted everything. It was during that season in 2022 that she attended her first open mic and fell into stand-up comedy with the kind of urgency that comes from needing an outlet, a voice, and a reinvention. She's the creator behind the wildly accurate Southern Mom Persona and the mind behind the show Be Blessed, which blends vulnerability, southern theatricality, satire, and the universal chaos of trying to grow up emotionally.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Mary Ryan's work is vulnerable, smart, unhinged in the best way, and deeply human. It fits perfectly with what we explore and pairs well with. New chapters, identity, humor, and the courage to evolve. So let's dive in. Mary Ryan Brown, welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Hi, thank you all for having me. That was such a kind introduction.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Oh, well, I hope we got it all right.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Oh, yes, yes. And it had a little razzle down in those things. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:48

I told you that. I've been stalking your social media for a while now.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Well, good.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

So got to learn a little bit more. And of course, we have to tell the audience that I've known you since the day you were born.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yes, that is correct.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I actually babysat you at least once or twice. I don't know if you even know that.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

What was I like as a child?

SPEAKER_00 2:05

A baby.

unknown 2:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

But I was special, right? I was so special. Well, you were always so special. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Yes. But during during some interim points in my life when I actually happened to be in Hattiesburg living with my parents for a little while, I became good friends with your dad. Well, he might not say that we were friends at that point. So your dad, John, was a personal trainer.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

That's correct.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

And that's how he met my mother.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

And well, they may have known each other since before then, but that's how they became friends. Right. And my mother used to pay John not to train her.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

That's right. And I'm sure he was happy to not work and to hang out. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

So he would just hang out with my mother and not train her. Yes. And then when I came to live with them briefly, she got me hooked up with John and paid for some sessions. And he did not take that liberty with me. He made me work out.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

He would call me at 5 30 in the morning and he would say, get your blah blah blah out of bed and get to the gym.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

He's still like that. He's still like that. He's still like that. Yeah. The man knows what he's doing.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Yeah, he's he's still great. So we've known each other for a long time. Go way back. Um, but this whole life that you've created for yourself has become so interesting and exciting. Thank you. It's been so fun to watch. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

I certainly did not create it myself. It was not created in a vacuum. I have a village, and that is why I'm able to do any of this. There's a reason you don't see a lot of moms doing stand-up comedy.

Roots In Mississippi And Storytelling

SPEAKER_02 3:36

I live in the same hometown as my parents, and so they're able to watch my daughter when I'm doing shows, as is my husband. He's he's very involved, and you know, somebody has to watch the kid. So that's what he's doing right now, but definitely not in a vacuum. I got really lucky to have good people in my life supporting me.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

So tell me about the fact that Mississippi, living in Mississippi and growing up in Mississippi obviously has shaped your most recent persona online for sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

How do you think that's shaped you as a storyteller?

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Well, Mississippians love a good story. And I think I think, especially if you go to the Mississippi Delta, that is the storytelling capital of the world. I'm not from the Delta, but I've spent lots of time up there. And in those places where there's very little to do socially, you know, what you do is you sit on the porch and you tell stories. And I think that in the South we accept and welcome embellishment. And we love like flair and nuance and drama and gossip. And it really doesn't even matter how true all of it is. It's the rhythm, it's the cadence of telling the story. So that certainly shaped who I am as a storyteller. My dad used to drive us around in his truck and we would listen to Jerry Clower, who's like a very famous storytelling comedian. So we would we would listen to that. And then of course I have a background in creative writing as well. So I'm always kind of searching for that arc in the jokes that I'm telling.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Right. Did your did your background in creative writing did that lend itself to begin writing for comedy? And I'm gonna get ahead of myself here, but just for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Yes. So I mean, I've I've always known that I wanted to be a writer. I've always enjoyed writing. I I've kept a million journals, I've always written little stories, and then I have an undergraduate degree in English and a master's degree in creative writing with an emphasis in fiction and then half a PhD. Because I drop down and and in creative writing as well. So yeah, I've always studied stories and studied literature and characters. I love like contemporary short fiction. And I've always taken this sort of literary lens to my work, to my day job. So I worked as a corporate copywriter and brand developer and the head writer of a marketing agency for several years. So I took a literary lens to writing copy and trying to influence consumers and impact audiences. And I think I take a literary lens to comedy as well. I try to create characters in people's minds in the stories that I'm telling. And I want, I want so badly when people watch one of my shows to leave with a sense of catharsis. Like my ultimate goal, I was sitting down the other day writing, like, how do I want to, how do I want people to feel when they've left a show? And this is so aspirational. Like, I I want to qualify by saying I am not there yet at all. But I want when people are done seeing my hour, I want them to feel like they've taken a pickle shot. Have you ever taken a pickle shot? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

No, like a nicker pickle or like a real pickle.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Both. Both. So it's a shot of bourbon followed by a shot of pickle juice.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

And so it's this burn and this rush and this harshness met with the pickle juice, which is like this unexpected sense of relief. And it's so euphoric. So it's the burn and it's the relief. And that's how I want people to feel. And sometimes if you take a really good pickle shot, you eat a little pork crackling at the end. So it's also like a little trashy. I love that. And I don't drink anymore, so I don't do pickle shots anymore. But I want to evoke that feeling in the audience, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Specific and amazing. I've never heard that.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Oh yeah, I've I've done it many times. Many times.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Is it pork crackling or is it a pork rand? Pork crackling. Okay. The crunchy hard thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Crunchy, yes. So a little sustenance too. But you you feel like an athlete who's just completed a marathon when you have a pickle shot because you have that burn of the bourbon and you're feeling all loose. But then you know, like if you're low on potassium, you drink pickle juice. And so you feel weirdly revived afterwards, too. So that's how I want people to feel. Am I gonna get there just telling, you know, silly little jokes? I don't think so. I think I have to go deeper and go deeper and go deeper. So I'm always trying to do that as well. Because that's the kind of comedy I enjoy, is the kind that also makes you think and makes

A Literary Lens On Comedy

SPEAKER_02 8:20

you a little reflective and sometimes sad.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Everything that you're saying right now makes me think about Flannery O'Connor.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

I love Flannery.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

I was gonna I was just thinking like everything that you're saying reminds me of everything I've read by her.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Yes, that's it, that's exactly how I want to feel. I love Flannery O'Connor. I taught her to my my tenth graders when I taught public school, and they were like, What is this? And I was like, guys, the life you save may be your own. Like, you don't understand. So I love Flannery because she she really just finds such beauty in the grotesque, and she she doesn't take cheap shots, yeah, you know. Yeah, and you know, Flannery was pretty, she had a really hard life, you know. Yeah, and I think it was in that suffering, she she chose to really create a wonderful perspective out of it. So yeah, she's a hero of mine. The fact that you said that, I'm gonna drive home just floating. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Well, who is your favorite Southern writer right now? Right now, I let me let me rephrase that. Let's let's ask that in two parts, and I'm totally getting off here. But um I have a tendency to do that right now and historically.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Okay. Historically, like contemporary Southern writers and then Yes. Okay. So yeah, I love Flannery O'Connor. I love Faulkner because I love a man who just can't stop talking. I do. I love a man who wants to talk and he wants to talk about the old lady who lives in the attic. I love that. As far as current Southern writers are concerned, Jasmine Ward is incredible. Sing Unburied Sing. Like, I love anything with that magical realism, ghosts, like all of that. And then a lot of the writers I like, most of the Southern writers I like are old, you know. I love Lewis Norton, Walker Percy. Trying to think who else. Carson McCullough's even Natasha Trethaway. She's a poet. You know, I love her. You won the Pulitzer several years ago. She did, she did. And then one of my favorite poets living and working in Mississippi right now, she wasn't born in Mississippi, but she teaches at Ole Miss, is Amy Nuzuka Matatiel. She writes like nature-based poetry, and she's just a delight. She's also just like a lovely person, but she watches my videos too. So I'm like, okay, a poet's watching my videos.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

I didn't realize that you and I had very similar backgrounds because I have an English degree as well. And then I have a master's degree from Millsaps that was basically called Master of Liberal Studies, but it was basically a lit master's degree. Incredible. And then I decided to throw my life away by going to law school. And happens to the bus. And you know, and it's funny because I I felt like going to law school is what stunted my own creativity. Okay because it forced me into cr a career that I never felt comfortable in. Really? So but anyway, I digress there. So let's get back to you and talk about your background and your education. So your grandmother was the pioneer in gifted education in Mississippi. She was. And so growing up, how do you think that influenced you as living up to kind of that standard and then also being a gifted child following that legacy?

SPEAKER_02 11:25

That's a wonderful question. So I I fortunately I had so much time to reflect on this in the wake of her passing, right? And even though she was such a like towering presence in our community and in the world of education, I never felt like we lived in her shadow. I always felt like we walked in her light. And I am so thankful that on both sides of my family and just in my community and your mother and just people who have been around me, I've always been surrounded by like smart, outspoken, fabulous, successful women. And so I think, you know, people are surprised that I do stand-up comedy. You know, they're like, oh, that's so brave. And I'm like, oh, well, I'm mentally ill. So it's actually pretty easy when you're delusional. But I don't think it's that out of the box. I never thought I have people come up to me all the time and say, I could never do that. I could never, ever, ever do that. And I've never felt that way really about anything. If you look at the women who were in my life, if you if you look at my grandmother, Dr. Carnes, who she came from Illinois. She was married to a man 25 years her senior. Oh wow. Okay. They both came from Illinois. They by way of Sierra Leone, Africa. So they had spent time in Africa starting a teaching college there. They had two young boys. She has this biting Midwestern accent. She wore her hair in a tight bun every day. Like she meant business. She was not this charming, you know, southern woman. She stepped into this world and she saw a need for gifted education. And she marched right up the steps of the governor's mansion and asked to speak to him. Yeah. And it worked. I mean, she just never took no for an answer. Was that William Winter? Do you know which governor it was? I I think it was Waller, Bill Waller. Bill Waller. Yes. I think. Okay. I think because she had my dad has a note, a French note from his office. But you know, she just she saw a need, she cared deeply for the rights of children, and she could see where children were falling through the cracks and they were they were being labeled as problems when really there was so much potential there. And so she would she would pack her boys into the back seat of their car with no air conditioning

The Pickle Shot Philosophy Of Catharsis

SPEAKER_02 13:45

after school, and they would go drive to these rural districts, and she would petition to have gifted classes. And one of those rural district principals told her, There are no gifted children in my district. And that simply would not stand with her. And so she had legislation passed for like mandatory gifted classes. But when I look at her life, I think my life is pretty vanilla. Like she marched in the beat of her own drawing. Thank you. But yeah, I I think it certainly shaped my the audacity with which I sort of carry myself now.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

And you were considered a gifted child, like in quest gifted kid, yes. And growing up, everybody always knew how smart you were. And smart as a whip. And of course, my dad has his favorite story that he likes to tell about Mary Ryan when she was little. One of her siblings hit her in the eye, tell me if I got this wrong. Yes. And her mom said, Well, we're gonna call Dr. Thad and see if he can come help. And Mary Brian at a very young age said, He's a cardiologist, not an ophthalmologist.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

I knew he couldn't help you.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Ridiculous. So we all knew Mary Bryan had a little something extra.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Thank you. I call myself stupid smart, and I'm really not trying to to degrade myself. I think everybody has their own strengths, but I I love to read. I think I have a certain gift for taking big ideas and distilling them into impactful language. I believe I can do that. I cannot drive very well. I I do not pay my taxes. I don't look at my taxes. My husband looks at like there's so much that I am just not good at, but uh, but I can write a little poem. I certainly can. And and I love words and I love language, but like I was terrible at math. Um all of that. Oh, yes, yes, sir. Yes, like and like Sudoku. I remember when everybody got into Sudoku and I was like, something is wrong with me.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

So I can't do it either.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

It's not for well, y'all are attorneys, so you're also in the in the business of taking big ideas and like codifying them, you know, and and looking for patterns logically. And and I think I'm good at that on like a critical thinking scale. I I had thought about going to law school as all English majors do. But yeah, I I they always told me I was really smart, but I also believe that people become who you tell them they are. And so I'm very thankful that I had parents who thought I was special and told me I was special, and grandparents who did the same. And I try to do that with my daughter.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

I try to do that with my husband. I try to use psychological mind control on him. And from the day I married him, before he had a chance to prove me wrong, I told him, You're a wonderful husband, you're the best husband there's ever been. And I think he just believed that and like stepped into it. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's a great wants to perform at that level. He does. Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

No, that's great psychology too. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

It works. I remember, and you know, and I wanted him to help with the baby when she was born. And I remember one night he got up in the middle of the night with her and he changed her diaper. And the next morning I got up and he had put the diaper on, like, upside down, and she had like ruined, you know, not ruined, but she had, you know, made a mess. And you know what I said about it? I said nothing because I wanted him to get up the next night. And I was like, he'll figure it out. Like, I'm gonna skip this. But people become who you who you say they are. My parents always told me I was smart and funny, and you know, it worked, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

I guess. Well, and you like you said, you had a lot of really interesting women as role models, obviously, male role models as well. But you were telling us before we started about just some of the support that you got that gave you the confidence to ultimately get up on the stage one day.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Yes. Yeah. Yes, and one of those people was your mother. I I have so many stories about your mom, but Jerry Waits was one of my first uh supporters and patrons when I was selling Girl Scout cookies. I had to have been eight or nine. And, you know, other girls at school, their moms would do their science projects for them and sell their Girl Scout cookies for them. My mother was not having any of that. And so I had a list of people to call, and I would call and I would say, It's Mary Ryan Carnes. I'm selling Girl Scout cookies. How many do you want? I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say, Do you want any? I just leading question. And people would buy two or three boxes at a time. And and your mom answered immediately, I want 27 boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

I think we all got them in our Christmas style. I bet that we did.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

I bet that we did. I bet you did. But your mom was just always, she was so fabulous, and their house was incredible to this day. I mean, I we went over there probably a year ago, and I was like, it's the same, it's timeless and it's gorgeous. But she was so cool. She had all those Bichons. And back in the day, I mean, a Bichon was like a unicorn. People didn't have just dogs yet. And they didn't, you know, they had four of them. Yes, with the best names ever. Yes, they were incredible. And then you had a parrot, Molly, and she was mean, but she was really cool. And uh her feathers, she had gray feathers, and she was kind of like a kooky old lady a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

She would mimic, my mother taught her how to mimic her voice. Yes, and it was it was convincing. Yeah, it was crazy. You'd think it was my mom screaming from the back. She would just and Thad has a tape, a couple of tapes of the of Molly the bird. But all the kids, when they would come over, they loved hearing.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Oh, I was fascinated by her. She was so she was just such a presence. And I remember there was one night we were over there for a Christmas party, and my brother Mo, he was about two at the time, and he loved olives for whatever reason. Well, there was a whole tray of olives, and Moe was just eating them and eating them and eating them. And about an hour into the party, your mother goes, Leanne, those are soaking in vodka. So, how is Mo feeling? I mean, he was real chill. He was uh He was having the best Christmas of his life, probably. But just so many good memories. And she always she gave the most thoughtful gifts. She made me this paper mache box one time for me to put all my like paper dolls and doll clothes in. And she had paper macheed all these dolls. She gave me a stamp collection and paper macheed a little suitcase with all these stamps. She gave me a Tory Birch backpack when I graduated high school.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yeah, it was a master gift giver. She really was.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

You definitely inherited that. Yeah, I inherited a lot of her.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

With the the the downside of ordering

Legacy Of Gifted Education And Identity

SPEAKER_00 20:35

too many boxes that appear in my door on my doorstep. I also inherited that. I I do hope I inherited some of those things that I got to witness her doing and having people feel special. She liked to make people feel special. And Mary Ryan, she would be so out. I mean, she would just be reclimped about what you're doing. And she would say for Clemped too. She would totally say that. But I mean to see you would be just such a highlight for her. It totally would be. I just adore her. She would be saying, I wonder if Mary Ryan's talking about me. Oh, yeah. Do you think she's mentioned me? That's what she would be saying. And I would say, there's a little part of you in a lot of these other moments.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

That is very true.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Yes. I bet there is. When we start talking about that, I do want to ask you about your your inspiration for some of those things for sure.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

But yeah, lots of strong women in my family and in my chosen family as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

So well, another thing that we'd like to explore with you, and is another thing that you and I share in our background is your experience with postpartum depression. Oh, yeah. How that sparked this whole new version of yourself, I would venture to say. So I went through that with my third child. Oh, okay. So experiences with the first two, but after the third one, I did and ended up doing six weeks intensive therapy for it. Oh, wow. Wow, good for you. Yeah, yeah. So I had to take a leave of absence for work. I went back to work after she was three months old.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

And after three months, I had to take a leave of absence from work. But you took your experience and turned it into this whole new persona and creative outlet. So tell us about that.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

I I certainly, and again, this is because of the village that I have. So I kind of knew before I had my daughter that I would probably have postpartum depression because I have the regular kind already. So I was like, all right, I this might be something that I experience. And lo and behold, she was a couple weeks old and it just, you know, it hit me like a ton of bricks. But fortunately, because I'm from a family that does talk so openly about mental health, like I knew exactly what it was. It was, you know, but it was still the most terrifying experience because no matter how much logic you apply to the situation, it's this overwhelming feeling of despair. It's really just like a, like just a carnal hopelessness, if that makes sense. And yeah, it was terrible. And so I fixed my medication and started to feel better. And my best friend, who's been my best friend since I was four years old, she's a doctor, and I do this. She would check on me all the time. And I would stay up late at night. And Meadow also had colic, which obviously is not her fault, but like lots of screaming. I was crying, she was crying. I was screaming, she was screaming. You know, it was a lot. And so I would be up with her at night, feeding her, and I would watch comedy specials. I've always been a fan of comedy, lifelong fan. I come from a very funny family. And as a writer, I was interested in how they were constructed. And I also knew when you're feeling illogically sad, one way to kind of pull yourself out of it in the moment is to turn on your analytic mind. And so I would watch these specials, I would laugh, but I would also pause it every 10 seconds and write down everything Dave Chappelle was saying. And I would denote the pauses and everything else just to kind of see how a good joke was made. So I did that for like a couple months, and I was telling my best friend Camille about it, and she was like, You need to go to an open mic. And I would think, Oh, I don't know, I don't know. And she would kind of pester me, you know, every month or so. Why don't you try an open mic? And so when Meadow was 18 months old, that is when I went and watched an open mic at Soapro in Hattiesburg. My husband and I went on date night and I watched, and then we went back another week and I watched, and then I was like, all right, I'm doing it. And I remember I told him, and he was like, okay, if it doesn't go well, let's never tell anybody. Ever. And I was like, right, yeah, for sure. And fortunately, I got really, really lucky my first time. I had written material, but I just got really lucky and did well my first time, and then it's been nonstop from there, just a hooked, addicted. Did you follow your script that night? Or did you do some ad living? I did some ad living. So one thing that I think is always true for me and for my comedy is you have to go in insanely prepared, but also be insanely prepared to throw everything out and surrender to whatever the context of that room is. And again, I'm no expert, it's just what I've learned, you know, from me doing it in the limited three years that I've done it. But so I go in my first night. It's it's Hattiesburg. I've lived in Hattiesburg my whole life and I'm so nervous. So, so, so nervous. Because it's it's I love public speaking. It's one thing to speak in a room full of people, but with the expectation of making them laugh, oh, I mean, my God. And so I go in, it's my turn. I look on the front row, and who's there but my college boyfriend's parents? Oh, they're there. And they're super sweet. We're, you know, we're great. And I was like, all right, I gotta acknowledge this. So the first joke I ever told on on the mic was something I love about living in a small town is you always run into people you know, like tonight's my first time doing open mic comedy, and who's on the front row? My college boyfriend's parents, and I just wanna say, and then I said their names, and I was like, I'm so sorry for all the scenes I caused in your driveway, and I ruined your bushes. And like that was the first joke. And then I had a joke about like, I have a daughter, but don't worry, I didn't bring her here tonight. You know, I left her at home with a freshly charged vape. That was like the second joke I ever told. So, you know, just silly stuff like that. But I got really lucky, and then I went back the next week and I was like, okay, I gotta do all new material. And I wrote a bunch of like political jokes, which I'm not political, but I just felt like it was something I needed to do. And then I was like, Joe Biden, blah, blah, blah. And everybody was like, what's going on? So the second week wasn't as good, but by then I was already, you know, hooked. And I started just doing small shows and driving and getting my husband to drive me three hours to Gonzalez, Louisiana, to do a show in a strip mall for $10, you know. And that's how you do it. You you can't skip that part. It's it's so vital and crucial. And also, I did stand up for two years before anyone cared or knew what I was doing. It was the videos that gave me a little bit of a platform, but before that, I had so many chances to fail in the dark, which is important, you know, to fail without everyone watching and to get better.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

So, Mary Ryan, you talked earlier about uh your edu your formal education. Right. So you were not in school to become a stand-up comedian, right? What was what was your plan and how did how did that sort of evolve away from what you had in your mind earlier?

SPEAKER_02 27:48

You know, I've

Expectations, Labels, And Becoming Who You’re Told

SPEAKER_02 27:50

never had a set plan. I've always known that if I'm reading, writing, talking, and connecting with people, I'll be okay. That's that's one thing my mom looked at me and she told me that one time. I think as long as you're reading, writing, talking, and connecting, you'll be living in your purpose. So I was in school in 2019. I was in a PhD program at the USM Center for Writers to be to get my doctorate in creative writing. And my goal was to be a professor. And I still would love to be a professor. That is the life. That is, it's just book club all the time. It's fantastic. And and also like critiquing other people's stories. How fun is it? Getting paid to judge people's art. Incredible. I love it. But then the pandemic hit, and I took a full-time job writing copy for marketing agency, uh, the branding agency. And um I did that for three years. And during that three years, I got married and had meadow. And so I kind of thought I'll just work in the branding world. And then I wasn't loving that because I mean, as you can probably tell, I'm just not a terribly corporate person. And I missed being in the classroom. I had been a graduate assistant and I'd taught like world literature and freshman comp and I loved that. So I said, I'm gonna take a year off from corporate and I'm gonna go be a high school English teacher. I thought that the schedule would be more, you know, compatible with having a family and everything. And y'all, I'm just not strong enough to do that. Um it is hard. And uh 10th graders are very intense people, and I loved them. I loved the kids and I loved teaching, but it's like very, very hard. We should be paying teachers so much more. Whatever, whatever they're paying these SEC football coaches, pay the teachers that's no kidding.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

For real.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Yeah, um shout out to that for sure. And so it's it was rough. I loved it, and but right as after a year of doing that, I was taking a lot of freelance work as a copywriter, and then the comedy took off. So I said, I think I'm gonna go home. I think I'm gonna go to the house. All of that being said, I as a child, I wanted to be a horse jockey. And then I think I got too tall for that when I was in third grade. I got to school at Southern Miss and I wanted to be a broadcast journalism major and then go to law school and then be like a legal correspondent on the news. Dan Abrams. Yes, from the South and Blonde. Yes, exactly, exactly. But then I got into a creative writing class, an upper level creative writing class as a freshman that I had no business being in. I don't, it must have been a computer era that I got into this class. And the teacher was awesome. He was so great. And he was like, hey, I want you to come talk to the English department. And they, you know, baited me into their cult, and and the rest was history. But I've I've always kind of been like, it'll work out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

I think that's such a good message for young people and old people, you know, it's gonna work out. And yeah, and sometimes it takes a few tweaks, and sometimes it takes a tweak after you've even thought you've found your purpose in life. Something else happens, and we've had some great guests on that have talked about doors that they really we weren't even looking to have open, but they were opened for them, and they walk through and it found a whole new purpose.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Yes. And for me, my faith is such a big part of my journey. And you know, I always say, like, God picks idiots, like he really does. And there have just been so many things in my life that he has just kind of led me blindly to in in moments that I there's no like logical explanation for it. But but I'm thankful that the career never really mattered, just as long as I was like developing as a writer and as a reader and as someone who could connect with people. So but I also was a yoga teacher and a personal trainer and a spin instructor. Yes, that was an area as well.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

I used to be a spin instructor too. Yes, and a body truck instructor. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Well, I just wanted the microphone. It's the little Britney spinning. Yeah. Come on, faster, faster. Yes, telling people what to do. Oh, that was so fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

No, that was the only job I've ever been fired from in my life. Why'd you get fired? Really? Because I called in too many times asking for what you call it, substitute teachers. Right, because he needed to go be a lawyer. Well, that and I wanted to go out of town and they scheduled me on the weekend. And so literally the only job I've ever been fired from. I got fired from Fitness Lady. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

From Fitness Lady.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Well, yeah, it's their loss. Seriously. That's all the 5 30 a.m. class. I wonder who they found to do that, you know. Yeah, really. Really. But I didn't follow the protocol that weekend for getting my feeling. But I think the girl and I just probably didn't G-haul.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So well, it wasn't your it was. And that's what they said in HR too.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

That's what's in your file. Did not G-haul. It's happened to the best of us.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

So when you got started and you began getting some traction, as I said, I've now gone and stalked you a little bit on social media. You have said in prior interviews that you love this uh idea of uninhibited joy in performing. Yeah. Yeah. And that it at some point, I think maybe one of your first one of your first comedi, you know, comedic stand-up performance roles that you did was something based upon Little Miss Sunshine. Yes. Is that right? Yes. And so I'd love to hear more about that and how that affected you and impacted you.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

So have you seen Little Miss Sunshine?

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

That's my like life movie. I love that movie. I've loved it since I was in high school. So I have a very long history with that movie. I saw it when I was in high school, and at the time I was on my high school debate team, which is a surprise to nobody. And I would write original oratory. That was my event. So that's where you compose and memorize and perform a 10-minute oration on a theme. And so my senior year, the speech I wrote was about Little Miss Sunshine and how she wants to win this beauty pageant. And she asks her grandfather, Grandpa, and am I pretty? And she's kind of this like funky little cute, but like big glasses,

Village Support And Motherhood Logistics

SPEAKER_02 34:12

awkward little girl. And at the end, for the talent portion of the pageant, she does a strip tease to Rick James's super freak. And it's so, you know, obviously off-color, but she's having the time of her life. And her family comes up there and they dance with her, and it's this uninhibited joy. And when I saw that, and I was on the debate team and I was so competitive and like so caught up with being perfect. And when I saw that, I thought, that's what I'm going for. Yeah, I must never forget that that is the feeling I'm going for, not trophies, not recognition. It's that. That's why you're up there. And I remember having that feeling when I was 17, 18 years old and like wanted to be the debate champion. Then when I started doing comedy again, I was like, it's that feeling again. I would get so nervous and I would think, you're going for the super freak moment. You're going for the unexpected just rush of unity and joy. That's what you want. And so I started a podcast called Super Freak, where I try to interview other creators and like just community members and people that I find interesting who are also like, you know, kind of living fearlessly and trying to create that sense of uninhibited joy. So that podcast has been on hiatus for about a year, but I'm building a studio and it will be back in 2026.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

That's great. I got to watch a few of your episodes early on. I thought they were really good. And I loved I love that story and I love the the background behind it and just obviously what fuels you is inspirational. You know, and I think thank you. I think finding finding your passion at whatever point it is in your life and your purpose, which you know, we've we've explored this before, the fact that, you know, your your purpose in life is really your passion when you display it for others or give it to others, you know. And so that having that behind you that gives you that purpose. Not only are you getting that joy for yourself, but you're also sharing that joy with other people.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Well, thank you. I I want to give other people permission to do the same thing. I mean, all my life I've been given permission to, I always joke when I get on stage, like this is what happens when your parents love you too much. But like that is true. And I want to give other people permission to do the same. I think that we we put so many arbitrary limits on ourselves. When it's like, if you really want to, I don't, I think we think other people do. We do. We we think other we make the mistake of thinking other people are thinking about us. And that's one thing is like nobody's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about you. They're all thinking about themselves. So you're right. I do, I spend so much time on a on a fabricated perception, like what I think others think of me. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

And that makes you put those arbitrary limits on yourself because you think they are putting them on you. And so then you're you're buying into something that doesn't even exist out there.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yes, it's a wonderful way to expand yourself. Well, I think the uninhibited portion is is so important as well because, like we all are talking about, we put ourselves in these boxes because of fear. What's everybody gonna think about us? And I mean, putting yourself on a stage to try to make people laugh is has got to be one of the hardest jobs. I mean, yeah, you know, as a lawyer, we've had to put ourselves in front of judges and juries to try to convince them of right or wrong or what our client did with right or wrong or whatever the case may be, but we weren't trying to make them laugh. And that's a that's a big, that's a tall order to to try to get someone to do. And to see that your goal is to do it not only for them, but for you as well, and be uninhibited about it. You know, I think that's one of the things that we're trying to achieve with our podcast is in in our lives really at this point, because we've both had such structure in our lives and are have faced some changes in the last couple of years, and you know, Serena branching out with our green butterfly that you got to visit today.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Incredible. I cannot wait to wear my outfit, just so fun. And I heard you say in an earlier intro about dress when you stop dressing for men, that's when you find your style. That's so true in like speaking and writing and everything else as well. If you can sort of and really dressing for others, but especially men. Yeah, like and for a southern woman.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

Yes, because we were taught from a young age to always look appropriate and and present ourselves in a certain way for the opposite sex. And you know, as you get older and you and for unfortunately, so many people don't get their confidence until they get older. Yeah. And you're so blessed that you've gotten yours at a young age, and you'll be able to live that out for many more years than a lot of people will. I know. But I I've always kind of been the odd branch out that didn't hair and wore whatever I wanted to anyway. But that's what I'm trying to do with the green butterfly is to help people find that that side of themselves.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

And you did such a great job because the stuff you picked out for me today I never would have picked, and I'm like itching to go put it on. I'm so excited. It's so cute.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Well, and I think just being able, especially now with the social media, and everybody's everybody's putting themselves out there in ways that we never did before. Oh yeah. I'm talking about my mother, like she would she would be aghast at the fact that you know we all are putting ourselves out there and don't always have lipstick on and you know all the things that would concern her. But it's it's sort of the way of the world now. And I feel like like for us with our podcast and with you and and your career, you've got to put it out to the world. You do. If you don't, you're you're not gonna survive in this environment. And that's kind of the fun. Part too. And it's the scariest part to me personally because it's you know, it's it's just scary to put yourself out for public consumption.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

It is. You have to be really rooted and really grounded. And I'm thankful, at least for me, and and I'm sure for y'all too, just having people in your life, like real people that make you feel grounded, and so you're not worried about what you're putting out. And like also I stand by what I put out of never and y'all too, y'all aren't rage baiting people, you know. Y'all aren't trying to start what rage baiting means. Yes, it means it means when you try to like foster engagement. Yeah, all of that. And so I I stand by what I put out. No, I get a little miffed every time someone tells me I need a nose job, or that my jawline is too strong. It's always a man without a chin who's telling me that. But you know, I'm thankful that I have really glad that I started once I was like married and had a family of my own. If I had started in my early 20s, I'd probably like still be in bars asking other male community comedians, like, do you think that 9-11 joke was funny? You know, and that's no good permission. Asking for permission, ridiculous.

Postpartum Depression And Finding Stand-Up

SPEAKER_02 41:05

So, yeah, and also I am afraid. I think people, they'll be like, You're so brave, you're so fearless doing this. No, no, no, no, no. I'm nervous all day, the day leading up to a performance. I'm nervous all the time. I'm terrified the from the moment I wake up in the morning the day of a show till the second I get off stage, and even after that, I'm still terrified, but I'm more afraid of not doing it than doing it.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

I like that. That you're more afraid of not doing it than doing it. That's because that is not the point where you have to move. Yeah. And get stuff out of it.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

That goes into the, you know, the everything that we've been exploring with our podcast is making those those big decisions to reinvent yourself. Yes. And don't be afraid to do it. Just take the step. Take the first step, and the next one will come. And the next one will come.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

And don't talk about doing it. Yeah. Do it. I see so many people who are like, things are really about to change around here. You're gonna see a new side of me. You know, you see that on social media all the time. I'm I'm about to get serious. I'm about to lock in. Stop telling people. Or if you're from the South, you say, I'm fixing to. I'm fixing to. It's fixing to change. You're gonna see we're you know, we're doing some new things. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Do it. And it's amazing what'll happen.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

I want to go back just a second to something you said, Sheila, about putting yourself out there on social media. And I think there's two really different versions that people put out there. They put the perfect polished airbrushed version, and then there's this whole nuke version of just being completely who you are, raw, unpolished. You know, this is who I am when I wake up in the morning, or you know, wrinkles aren't airbrushed out, or whatever. And I think that community is craving the second version more because we're not doing it in person, and they're living through social media or the connection comes through social media, and so they're craving that authenticity. And I I think that's one thing that you really hit on in all of yours is you come across as so authentic because you are, you live this stuff, you grew up in it.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Yep. Um so and you also have a a way through humor of poking fun at the norm.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

It's a Trojan horse.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Because if I can get you to laugh at it, maybe I maybe we can all have a chance to think about it too. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, not that I'm like trying to create cultural commentary every time I make comedy. It's it's not that. But yeah, I've lived it. I'm from the South, I am a Southern woman, my daughter's backpack is monogrammed, you know, all of that. I have the pottery that I talk about, you know, in the videos. But yeah, the the humor does allow you to get away with a lot more, I would say, because it's like it's a Trojan horse.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

So one of the things that we were talking about before we started was the arc that we've already seen in your career. Oh, thank you. And I mean, now the arc is just pointing upward for sure. But tell us about just you know after you started, and you said y'all were making these treks to Gonzales and other places around, and and you were getting some traction on social media, but maybe not as much as you would have liked. And so there were some peaks and valleys. Yeah. Tell us just about like what happened when you'd get into the valley and how you got to some peak areas.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

That's a good question. So with the valley, the answer is just more work and writing and being better. Because if audiences aren't resonating with you, there's a reason. And the reasons you it's not the room, it's not the people online, it's you. One thing that I've learned, I think, as a creator, as a comedian, as an artist is that my audience owes me nothing. And I owe them everything. I have to provide value and resonance and impact to them. That's my job, and they owe me nothing. And so realizing that when maybe a video hasn't done as well as I wanted or an opportunity has fallen through, the the answer can be hurtful, but very, very simple. The answer is be better. And the answer is work harder. And so that's that's what I do. And I I do cry about it sometimes. I I lost out on, or I kind of stupidly asked for an opportunity that I didn't know I wasn't supposed to ask for one time. I didn't realize it was like, I don't know, less than fewer than two years into my comedy career. And I didn't know that you couldn't just like ask to do a show at the comedy cellar in New York. I thought like you can just ask. And so I was doing a show with a seller comic. Like, we weren't at the seller, but he was a seller comic. And after the set, he was like, that was a great set. And I was like, Thank you. Can you put me on a show with the seller? And he goes, No, that's not how it works. And he wasn't rude about it, but it hurt my feelings so bad that I the whole way home, which was only 15 minutes, I cried about it. And then I got in bed and pulled out my notebook and wrote better jokes. I mean, the answer is just to work harder and be better. And like I said, it's it's not necessarily the comfortable answer, but it's the clear answer. So when I'm in the valley, that's that's where I am. I also get I have like imposter syndrome and I get afraid that like everything's going to be taken from me at every minute, at any moment. But then I realize it's not really mine in the first place. Like it's all such a gift, and it really has very little to do with me. So once I realize it's not really mine, then I'm not clinging so tightly to it and like crushing it and deforming it, you know. When I'm in the peaks, it's also important to remember that there by the grace of God go I. I mean, it's it when when I do have big successes, if you tie your identity to those successes, when you don't get them, your identity is muddled, right? And and compromised. And so I don't want that. So try to remain pretty even keeled and be in love with the work, not the credits, the uh yeah, the outcome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:03

So I knew you said a while ago, God even God can choose an idiot, but God chooses willing souls. He does, and you've been a willing soul to embrace your own eccentricity, eccentricities. I can't get what's that getting tongue-the eye here. Espresso martini, I think, um on an empty no lunch today. But that and you know, just the things about the South and your your own journey and your difficult challenges in life, and you were willing to to put those out there. And God so God is using you as, you know, a person to speak to others that have, you know, shared like shared those same journeys and maybe aren't as willing to face them.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

I hope so. I I hope I'm making my dad proud. But like I, you know, I'm also like, I remember when I became a yoga teacher, and you know, a lot, a lot of being a yoga teacher is like leading the class and doing the meditations and wearing the cute little outfits and you know, being flexible. But most of it is just like wiping down mats and pretending you didn't hear someone fart. Like that's what that's what yoga really is when you get down to it. And like comedy is the same way. There are these really fun moments of like a punchline hitting, everybody laughing, and applause breaks. But like a lot of it is just like showing up on time and you know, marketing your shows and doing your ticket links and you know, talking to other comics and dealing with people in the industry and all of that. So I I'm very willing. I love it so much that I'm willing to do any of the like wiping down Matt's work of it. Because it's just so fun. I'm so lucky. Like, my gosh, it's it's the best job in the world.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

That's how I feel at night when I'm taking the trash out from the store or sweeping the store. I'm like, you know, the the little things that go on behind the scenes that I'm you know, even though I've had a successful career that had nothing to do with the green butterfly, I I'm not I'm not above doing those things because that's

First Open Mic Wins And Early Lessons

SPEAKER_01 49:00

what it takes for the store to be what it is, you know. Yes, it's in service of the goal.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Yeah. So one of the well the current peak uh that you've got to be experiencing now is this persona you've created, the Southern Mom persona. Yes. And that that just appeared, at least for my review of your social media, that really catapulted you. Yes. Yeah. And so where did she come from?

SPEAKER_02 49:26

Well, she's you know, this uh story actually does go back to your mother. How about that? This actually does go back to your mother. So the Southern Mom, I'll I'll answer that question first. It's an amalgamation of like all the women who made me who I am. It's also when my brothers and sisters, I have four younger siblings, when they were in school at a private school, my mom would be in all of these group me, like classroom, room mom, group me messages. And at night, she and I, because I'm older than all my siblings by several years, we would sit and we would drink Chardonnay and she would pull up the group meet, and I would do all the voices and I would read it like a script. Like I would do a table read of all of the voices in the group meeting you know, my son doesn't understand why y'all aren't offering a youth extra small jersey, you know, just because he is a light bloomer, he needs a jersey that fants, you know, all of that. So we would just, you know, get buzzed and do that. And so that's a lot of Southern Mom. But the day that I posted Southern Mom, right before, right after I posted, I literally hit post and then I went to the mural reveal for your mother. And so I got there and I hadn't looked at how the video was doing. I had like maybe a thousand followers at the time. I didn't whatever. And Dr. Joe Paul, president of USM, came up to me and quoted the video back to me. Oh wow and I thought, that's something. And then when I left the mural reveal, which was beautiful, I mean it was just gorgeous, and Aubrey Sparkman did such a good job on that mural. I mean, it was just beautiful. When I left the reveal and I checked my phone, everything had changed.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 50:57

Yeah, isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_00 50:58

That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

Yeah, so good. But when Joe Paul said that, when he was like, a dolphin daddy or whatever, I was like, Dr. Paul. And I thought, that's interesting. I've never had anyone quote anything back to me.

SPEAKER_00 51:10

Right, especially the president of the university.

SPEAKER_02 51:12

Yes, exactly. And now, guess what? He is going to open for me a no at the debut of my tour on February 7th. Oh my goodness. Yes, I totally have to wear this park blue jacket. Yes, he is. Is it in Hattiesburg? It's in Hattiesburg, the Hattiesburg Country Club, 10 a.m. on February 7th. It's a brunch show. We need to put that on the cast. It's a Mardi Gras brunch.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

Is Dr. Paul a comedian now?

SPEAKER_02 51:36

He's I don't know. He is very funny. Yeah, he's very, very funny. And I love him. His son Daniel and I are pretty close in age. And then his daughter, Hallie and I, we have kids who are the same age and we're really good friends. So wonderful. Yeah, he's he's great. I asked him the other day, like, will you introduce me? So it's a Mardi Gras brunch. It's called the Nasty Brunch, you know, because USM has the nasty bunch. So it'll be fun.

SPEAKER_00 52:03

That will be fun. Yeah. So is that going to spark a new tour for you next year?

SPEAKER_02 52:07

Yeah, that'll be the beginning of the Be Blessed tour, and I'll be all over the South from February until I think the end of August. But you know, I do space out the runs because I don't want to be gone all the time, you know. So I I go out once or twice a month uh for those bigger shows, and then I just hit up open mics, you know, to practice. Do you have a tour bus? Oh no, no, I have a Hyundai Palace. I do not have a tour bus, no, but maybe not yet. Not yet. Maybe someday. Maybe someday.

SPEAKER_00 52:40

I do you book all your own events or do you have someone helping you book?

SPEAKER_02 52:44

It's a it's a combination. So I started out booking all of my own events, and then my husband, I have to give him a shout out. He he understood that there that I have a need to be creative and to write, like I need to be writing, I need to be creative, and that the admin side was becoming a bit too cumbersome. So I still handle, I have trouble relinquishing control of the admin side, but he has really stepped in and started booking shows for me. That's great. And he does a great job. And so he sends me the calendar invites and all of that. So he'll book shows, and then I have another booking agent who's incredible. So I'm I'm very thankful in that regard too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

Well, you'll have to give us your your tour schedule at some point so we can post that on our socials. Please. And come see you and follow you. It's so exciting.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

Thank you. Once all the ticket links are up, I'll let you know. And I'm I'm gonna be putting out new merch soon. The first run of merch that I put out was very punk rock and kind of goth, which is it's funny because I do the southern woman thing, but like I'm actually a pretty sad person. I'm kind of a goth person. And so the the first round of merch I made was kind of a little more like metal, you know. Well, this new round will be very southern and preppy and feminine and fun. So that's coming out soon, too. And hopefully I'll be able to, you know, sell some of it on tour.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Absolutely. So, how do you think that resonates with audience outside of the South?

SPEAKER_02 54:14

We will see. I think the South is having a moment. If you look at like, and I'm not saying I'm anywhere near their level, but if you look at Nate Bargatszi and Leanne Morgan, like they're able to tour all over because if you're from the South, you resonate with the material. If you're from outside the South, you are fascinated by these freaks, you know? They are freaks. And so, like when I went to Provo, Utah, and I filmed a dry bar comedy special there, like they were just like, tell us about your world. And I was like, We're interested in your world. Y'all are weird to us, you know. So I think it's a novelty and I think it's fun. When I when I did some shows in New York, I loved it. I would move to New York. Uh, you know, if I had unlimited funds, I would I would be in New York.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Yeah, yeah. The energy is just fabulous. It's incredible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

It's incredible. I wouldn't want to be there in the wintertime, though. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

Oh, I would go anytime. I would go in the hot subway in the summer. I would go right now.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Yeah, I would think as an artist, it's got to be just so yeah fueling, fuels you and gives you material and just everybody on the street. And I want a crazy man to yell at me.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

I do. I want a crazy man to yell at me while I'm eating a bagel. I could actually go to High Street. Right. I was up

Careers, Detours, And Teaching Realities

SPEAKER_02 55:30

on State Street the other day, and a man, a man started chasing me with a stick. And I was like, well, now I have a story. Chasing me with a stick. And I thought, oh my gosh, this is the most danger I've ever been in. This is crazy. But I was like, well, whatever. Worst comes to worst. Like I can just swerve out of the way. It's not, you know. But yeah, I I do. I love the feeling of a city. My husband says it's like jumping into a moving current. You know, you just ah, you get swept up in it. And I romanticize it. But what can I say? I read Eloise as a child. That's correct. What do you expect?

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Well, maybe you go to a place in New York and you keep a place in Hattersburg and you can just live by the clubs.

SPEAKER_02 56:06

That would be lovely. And I can't wait to one day take my daughter to New York City. Oh, that's so fun to take.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

We've both done that with our kids. What age did you take them? Let's see. We did it while Ellie was still in the first time we ever went. We did the whole Eloise thing in the plaza and the and went to American Girl and all the things. And I would say she was probably seven or eight. Okay. Enough to where she knew what was going on at the time and really wanted it and loved it, but doesn't really remember it now.

SPEAKER_01 56:34

Okay. Because Meadow is from the pictures the first time. And then we did repeat visits when they were like 16. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Yeah, we've gone back several times. Ellie loves New York. I love New York. She's the you know, theater kid, as is Serena's daughter, so it's the theater the whole time that we're that we're there.

SPEAKER_02 56:52

That's Meadow. Yeah. She's we've seen both Wicked movies. I just took her to see the second Wicked. I loved it. She watched it the whole time, just like singing along with it. So she dressed up as Glinda, you know, the whole thing. And so she wants to go see it on Broadway. And I remember when she was three, she said, Mom, I want to go to a city. And I said, Hattiesburg's are a city. And she goes, No, Mom, a real city. And I was like, Oh goodness. So I feel like her soul is very New York. So I want to take her soon. I think you have to be five to see Wicked on Broadway, but she'll she is she'll be five in April.

SPEAKER_00 57:26

So yeah. And there's nothing like exposing your kids. Yes. Especially kids who would live in Hattiesburg or even where where we are, that's a bigger city. It's still not New York.

unknown 57:37

No.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

Or Chicago or LA or you know any number of other big cities. There's nothing like exposing your kids to that.

SPEAKER_02 57:44

Yes, you gotta get exposed. My parents always took me to the theater when I was young, which is another reason I'm like this. I mean, they took me to see Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas when I was four. And I had to lie to the doorman. They were like, tell them you're five. And I said, My parents want me to tell you that I'm four, but I'm acting five. And they were like, okay. But yeah, I mean, being in a theater is like the best feeling in the world. So I don't want to push that on her too hard, but she seems to have a natural inclination for it. Does she know what you're doing now? So I had to explain it to her. She's come to a couple of things. She's come to, I opened for John Crist at the Sanger. And so she saw that, but I think she equates comedy with candy because John invited us onto his tour bus and like, with my permission, gave her some candy. So I'm like, great, now she equates my job with getting into a strange man's vehicle and taking candy from him. So she kind of never to do. All taught never to do, exactly. So you know the wires are crossed. But someone did recognize me like out in public the other day, and she was like, Mom, why do all these why do people come up to you sometimes? I say all these people, it's literally not a lot of people, but you know, in my hometown, people will come up to me. And I explained, like, I make these videos and I showed her the videos. So I think she has like a certain idea, and she knows she knows I have shows, and she knows when I have shows, she stays with her dad and they make steak. And so she's kind of been pavloved into being like, bye, mom, I'm gonna eat her ribeye, you know. So, like I left last night, came and did a show in Jackson. I'm in Collins and I get a phone call that we're we're adopting a kitten. So I leave for one night. We've adopted a kitten, which I've wanted a kitten for a long time, so I'm excited. We're cat people too. I love cats. I cannot wait to go home and see her. Well, I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl, but we haven't had the gender reveal yet. But you know, she always has fun when I'm when I'm off at shows.

SPEAKER_00 59:40

So that's so fun.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Now remind me how old she is. She's four. Four. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

So my cousin who lives down on the coast was looking for a cat. And so we all were in, we were in Hattiesburg visiting my dad, and I was on this mission to find her a cat. And so I'm looking on Facebook and I'm Googling where can You get a cat in Hattiesburg. Well, turns out there's a place called the Cattiesburg Cafe. I am I've been. Okay, it's fabulous. It's so much fun. So they post some pictures, and there's an orange cat. Well, Serene and I both have these orange cats that are like the best things ever. And this one's name was Kat Stevens. Perfect. So they were open that night. So I call, is Kat Stevens still available? And the lady's like, yes. And I'm like, Paula, get in the car. We're going to get Cat Stevens. And so we pack up ourselves, we leave dinner, we go over there, we meet Kat Stevens. She falls in love. We play with all the other cats. I'm sure there's not one better, and there's no one better. And now she's just so in love with her cat from Caddiesburg Cafe.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

Cats are special. I love I'm a dorm person too, because I've got the Bichons as well. Yes, the Bichons.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

But we have a little menagerie here. Serena's daughter actually has her cat adormed with her.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

Amazing. How? Emotional support. Love it. Loophole City. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:00

Living on campus. No way. The only non-feral cat of gambit is stop it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:07

She's a major down there. So incredible. I'll have to go see her.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

When I've seen your videos, the Southern Mom was especially, you'll say something and I'll say, gosh, Mary Ryan, I mean, that is that came out of my mother's mouth. It's come out of my mouth. Yeah. Like, I know you're making fun of me, but I can it's so resonance. You did one recently, and I know you weren't thinking about me at this time, but it was on China. Oh, yes. And I collect China. And it was like, if you've got the cabbage version of the China, and you said, like, and Sheila, you've hit the pinnacle or whatever. And I'm like, how did she know I started collecting this cabbage channel?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

The cabbageware is the pinnacle of womanhood. I will say, if you have cabbageware, you're hot. And you you've and obviously, and you've weaponized your whimsy. And that is, yes, I love the cabbage warehouse. I do too. I do too. And if you mix it with the blue willow, I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:03

I'm so perfect. Last Christmas I began mixing it with my Linux holiday. Oh, oh, I'm going to try to up that. So yeah, it's a fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:11

I'm doing my Linux holiday for real this year. I'm hosting Christmas this year. Oh, wow. I'm doing my Linux holiday of this. That's exciting. I know. I'm a big girl. Oh, you are big for the whole Carnes clan. Well, they'll come over. They'll come over. That's a big clan. It's a big clan, but they live a mile down the road. Right. So it'll they'll come over, but then my in-laws will like actually stay with us. And um I love my in-laws. I got very lucky.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

So well, you got lucky with both sides because your mom and dad are great.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

Oh, they're angels. Yeah. Yeah. They're the best. They like my mom came to my show last night. She's just so sweet. So fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:45

All right, Serena, tell Mary Ryan what we do with our guest each time we meet this.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

So we have a fun game that we call pairs well with rapid fire. Okay, love it. And we give you a phrase, and the first thing that comes to mind, and this is probably going to be the most entertaining one of these that we've recorded today. Let's hope so. I agree. I don't want any of our previous guests to think that they've all been good answers.

Faith, Work Ethic, And Willingness

SPEAKER_01 1:03:10

Yeah, yeah. They've all been good answers. Um so your childhood, first image that comes to mind.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:17

Muddy boots. Muddy boots. I was I I went fishing with my dad and I I was sinking into the mud and throwing a huge tantrum, and there's a picture of me just absolutely grossed out. I've thought about that. I've thought about that. So yeah, I think about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:35

I feel like that's that could be a metaphor for lots of things.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

Yes, just like outspokenly miserable, but now it's a core memory of me and my dad, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:47

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:48

Yeah. All right. And beanie babies, muddy boots and beanie babies.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:53

Okay. Pairs well with the realest part of motherhood for you. Breaks.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

Taking breaks.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:02

Pairs well with the south at its best. An open front door, I would say. What about the south at its worst?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:12

A secret cap too long.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:17

All right. Pairs well with the thought that runs through your head right before you walk on stage. What is my first line?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

I always forget my first joke. Yeah. Yeah, I'll I'll like freeze up and then I'll be like, what's up, everybody? Actually, I've heard you say that. What's up? This is because I'm trying to remember. And then I'm like, oh yeah, I'm supposed to be making fun of your town. Let me do that. Do you ever write it on your hand? No, no, never. I think that's for the week. Other people do that. I think no, that would be too easy. No, I have to memorize it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

Yeah. All right. Pairs well with what a southern mom really means by bless it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:58

This is okay. So you're gonna open up a can of worms here because I I think that bless your heart is like discussed too much in the South. And like we all know bless your heart means like F you or F off, or like they don't know any better. Like we know that. And I actually like very explicitly won't use bless your heart because I think it's like too many people do it. It's too but I do be blessed, which is more of like a command, you know, be and so, but yeah, I I think it's our like very special way of being passive aggressive, and I think it's a survival mechanism.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

Yeah, I think that's very true. Yeah, okay. Pairs well with what a southern mom means when she says, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:41

I'm fine. I think that means take me on a date and don't don't make me think about anything. Plan everything for me, take me on a date, and then you'll really be fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

That's what I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:55

I like it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

All right, pairs well with the emotion that sparks your writing.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

Contradiction and contrast.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

That's what we were talking about in the store today.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:07

To take something that you would never put together and make just a stark contrast, but make it just uh shine.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:14

No, that's exactly right. That's and sometimes it's a belt. You know, sometimes it's a shoe.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:19

Yeah.

unknown 1:06:20

All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

Pairs well with 2025 Mary Bryan.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

Oh homemade hot chocolate. Because I'm I'm doing that with my daughter every afternoon now, now that it's cold. And we have it's almost like two little friends sitting and having coffee. And I um I make a really good homemade hot chocolate. And we sit down when I bring her home from school and we talk about her day. And sometimes the neighbor kids come over and make them hot chocolate too. So I'm trying to cultivate more moments like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:48

Those I'm just things to remember. Yeah, I'm such a good person.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:53

Such a good mom.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:54

You're such a good mom. And Mary Ryan, this has been so fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:58

Thank you all so much for having me. You all have been the most gracious and thoughtful host.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:02

Wow, we've learned a lot about you. I'm so excited for you. I can't wait to see what happens next. Just because I know that it's bringing you joy, and everybody that gets to see you is experiencing that joy. Well, thank you. Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for coming to to be with us. Oh, of course. You're elevating us as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:22

Well, quit, this has been such a treat, and you can't shut me up. I would love to talk about my favorite thing, which is me. So thank you for giving me an opportunity to do that, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:33

Well, yeah, when you're at the comedy cellar or the comedy club in New York or whatever, maybe next year, maybe we can get some backstage passes or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:42

Oh, that would be if if I finally get to the cellar.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:48

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I'm gonna go ahead and say you can come to the Green Butterfly and get whatever you might need to have for a year. That's right. You've got to post a suit up. That's right. If you need a lawyer to write a contract, we'd be happy with that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:00

I will be needing that, yes. Awesome. Well, thank y'all soon.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:04

Thank you so much. Good luck. And we're gonna put everything about your socials in our show notes and links to whatever you'll share with us so we can share with our audience. Perfect. Well, thank y'all. All right. Well, have a great holiday season.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:18

Thank you, y'all too. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:19

Take care. The content of this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Although your hosts are attorneys, pairs well with does not provide legal, medical, financial, or professional advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship. Always seek the advice of qualified professionals regarding any specific questions or concerns you may have. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure to follow Pairs Well With wherever you listen to podcasts. And go ahead and like, rate, and follow us on social media. It really helps us grow and keep the conversations coming.